triangle.com | Home

Every year in November I remember holidays with my family. I am 58, but my dad died at 64, my sister at 47, and my mom, the last to go, died in 2001. My kids, by that time, were grown and gone - scattered all over the country. So here I am, with children and grandchildren all over the country, without a lot of resoures to travel, and it's just my husband and me for Thanksgiving and Christmas. All of you with family close by, or able to travel to family, please count your blessings. Do not complain about the burned turkey or the present that didn't get delivered. At least you have each other. God bless all families everywhere.

Growing up in Pittsburgh, PA., the things I miss the most are the Christmas flower show at Phipps Conservatory, the Christmas windows at Kaufmann's Department Store, Santa Claus coming around the neighborhood on a fire truck. Going to the Strip District for the freshest foods. I moved to Raleigh two years ago to be close to my son and daughter-in-law. The marriage did not work out unfortunatly and now I find myself helping my son move into his first apartment. Christmas will be special this year because it will be different without alot of family. I will have my original family back. My ex-husband of 37 years is coming to spend Christmas with my son and me. You just never know how things are going to turn out. I have decided to move back to Pittsburgh because I am so homesick. Raleigh is nice and I have found my favorite spots here. Logan's, the farmer's market, the flea market at the fairgrounds, Homewood garden center, but its not home and its hard to start a new life at age 60. I will miss the wonderful friend's I have made here in Falls River. Southern hospitality is the best. I wish everyone in Raleigh and Pittsburgh a happy holiday.

You missed an entire category of Homesick people. What about those of us that consider North Carolina, and Raleigh in particular, to be Home but were forced to leave our Home to find work due to anti-technology politicians? Now we're left out and forgotten by the media. Who has more right to be homesick than us? Those of us who risk life and limb on the Interstate Highway System to reach our Home for however few hours before having to return. I'm homesick all year long, not just at the Holidays. Holidays are the only time I get any relief.

Stuck in Atlanta,

Dick Schoenling

We have a very unusual "homesick" situation.  We've had our current house on the market for six months.  Because of that, we really can't decorate or prepare for Halloween or Thanksgiving or Christmas.  We have to keep it very clean and basic for potential buyers.  Therefore, our holidays are virtually nonexistent.
 
Our current "home" is not a home at all, and the house we're building will not ever be our "home", if we don't sell soon.  So we're actually "homesick" for a home in which we've never lived.
 
 :(

Paul Cooper 

My husband and I moved to Raleigh five month ago. We call Germany our home and our stay in North Carolina is for as long as my husbands assignment lasts. As what they call "empty nesters" we find it very inspiring to travel abroad and learning about different cultures. But we certainly miss our sons who attend University in Germany.

I get homesick when I think of them and how much we enjoyed what we called our "special hours in Advent".

In Germany there is a big emphasis on those four Sundays of advent which means "arrival". We light each Sunday an additional candle on the advent wreath until Christmas.

When our two boys were small we closed the curtains, lighted the candles on the wreath, sampled the first home baked cookies and read stories to them. It is all about getting calm and sharing these moments.

The outside world with all the buzz is being shut out for a while and we concentrated on the arrival of the Holy Night.

Now, with the kids grown up and out of the house, my husband and I don't do that any more. I think its just more fun when you have children to read stories to. And when it comes to cookies...well, we have to watch our waistline.

We still try to avoid the crowds at the mall and light a candle or sit in front of the fireplace.

My husband and I are looking forward to our first Christmas in Raleigh. And here is the good news: Our sons are coming to join us for the holidays. I cannot wait to show them all the activities and decorations in town. We certainly will do some serious shopping. But thereafter we will close the curtains and light the candles at the wreath and we will calm down enjoying the feeling of being together.

Susanne Gruss

I had to smile when I read the query regarding stories for the Homesick Holidays.

Growing on up eastern, Long Island, missing snow, having lived in Los Angeles for 15 years and having a wife who grew up in Portland, Oregon, I guess we meet pretty much every category you listed.

I guess in my case however, my sense of homesickness comes from the fact that my Dad passed right after Christmas of last year. He lived in Southampton, Long Island and, for some reason, his goal was to live to be one day older than his Mom.

Just before Christmas he suffered a mild heart attack and had to go in for quadruple bypass surgery. He made it through that okay but was then moved to a rehab facility and died a month or so later. We discovered that not only did he die as the result of poor care at the facility but that as many as 10 other people died the same way, in a 6 week period.

Oddly, his house was for sale at the time, and it closed two hours before he passed away. We knew as Dad grew older that we would not have him for too many more Christmases but we didn't expect to lose him that way. Losing Dad and our home at the same time was very difficult and it also meant no more of those walks in the snow I so missed growing up, no more Dad and Mom taking me to Santa the way he did when I was a child and no more hearing him tell the same old tired stories we'd have to hear every time we visited.

Needless to say, I now miss those stories very much and I can still remember the beautiful, Rockwellesque village of Southampton the way it looked blanketed with snow. I was adopted at birth and I could not have hoped for better adoptive parents, but the hole at Christmas left by my Dad can never be filled, save for my hope that he's now with my Mom again, free of pain and the loneliness that can come with growing old.

Ken Vrana

I will miss working with my former Latino students at Fremont Ross High School in Ohio, especially receiving their homemade greeting cards.My friend's Spanish class singing Christmas carols in Spanish.   

Our country home where we played outdoors with our boys and made the snowman with spiked up hair made out of snow who also sported some cool orange swim goggles.

The infamous cookie exchange with my friends.  These are just some of the things that make me homesick, but being new to the Triangle is a reason to make new holiday memories just the same.

 Lucy Brummett
 Creedmoor

Not the lack of snow, quality of Christmas trees or unavailability of favorite foods that would make my homesickness difficult.

It is the lack of community that I feel in this area.

School officials continue to break up and destroy any chance for social development that transplants so desperately seek the first few years they relocate.

The children in my community attend over 10 different schools! Most private along with Magnet, Charter and regularly assigned public schools. What a disgrace that this county gets away with shipping children all over the place in a desperate attempt to manipulate test scores.

Lynn Sprufera

My husband and I are from the Netherlands, our two sons (ages 3 years, and 5 months) were born here in North Carolina (Cary).

When I saw your request to you tell about what people miss during the holidays, I had to write about “Sinterklaas”.

If you’d translate Sinterklaas into English, it would be Santa Claus. Except, he’s not Santa Claus. Dutch children (and grown-ups) celebrate the feast of Sinterklaas traditionally on December 5th and the days before that.

Sinterklaas was the Bishop of Myra, he has a long white beard, wears a red bishop's dress and red mitre. He carries a big book with all the children's names in it, which states whether they have been good or naughty in the past year.

About 2 weeks before December 5th, Sinterklaas arrives by steamboat in the Netherlands (and Belgium too), coming from Spain. This is actually broadcast on national television as a major event. From that day on, children can place their shoe near the chimney (or other suitable place, because many homes in the Netherlands don’t have chimneys anymore) and if they’ve been good, the next morning they will receive small presents and candy (it’s up to the parents to determine how often children are allowed to place their shoe in front of the chimney).
 
Sinterklaas is assisted by ‘Zwarte Pieten’ (Black Petes). Pete's face is said to be "black from soot" (as Pete has to climb down chimneys to deliver his gifts). Sinterklaas rides a white horse across the rooftops.
 
On December 5th, it’s ‘pakjesavond’ (presents evening). Families will gather and wait for their presents. Sometimes they’re hidden in the house, but most often Zwarte Piet or Sinterklaas himself will bang on the front door and leave a big bag with presents.

Along with the presents, there are poems written by Sinterklaas or Zwarte Piet. Everybody eats special candy and chocolate, and the children will sing Sinterklaas songs.
 
You can find this and much more information at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas
 
In the Netherlands, Christmas is slowly taking over Sinterklaas, but I will still raise my children to believe that Sinterklaas exists, because I have always loved the tradition of Sinterklaas, as a child but also as a grown-up.

We even used to gather with other adults and gave each other presents and poems (using a system where you don’t know who gave you the present), where the presents were often wrapped in a special way (called ‘surprise’). You’d have to break apart the surprise to find the gift hidden inside.
 
Now that we live in the United States, I miss this family event a lot. Fortunately we’re still somewhat able to celebrate Sinterklaas. Family or friends will sometimes send us the typical Sinterklaas candy (only available in November and December) or I’ll order it online. I will let my 3-year-old sing songs and let him place his shoe near the chimney. He also watches the “Sinterklaas News” on Dutch national television, using the internet. But still I’m not sure if he really ‘gets it’.
 
Many of the Dutch people living in the Triangle are members of the Dutch club ‘De Wieken’, which will organize a special Sinterklaas afternoon on December 1st (because Sinterklaas has to be back in the Netherlands on December 5th, of course). It will be the second time for our oldest son to meet Sinterklaas, and it will probably be a little bit of a scary event for him, because it’s impressive to meet Sinterklaas. But receiving gifts will make up for a lot!
 
Jessica Bot

Today begins a journey towards Christmas that I am not sure I can walk. Last year, two weeks before Christmas, my sister passed away after a hard and valiant fight against cancer.

People don't understand that when you lose a loved one during the holidays, it changes that holiday forever. There is no looking at Christmas without the memory of a loved one passed.

Sure, outward there are no signs of a broken heart that beats for just one more chance to say goodbye, I love you. But we carry on for those left behind. We say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays but all the while our heart does not feel what our mouth says.

But, life goes on. I will miss her the most this Christmas as I have missed her all year long. I comfort myself in the realization that she is with me always... I carry her in my heart.

Cindy Smith