When the North Raleigh News section of the N&O called for guest columnsts recently for the Fifth Friday of the month, we got more than two dozen submissions. In this blog you'll find the submissions that were not published in the paper.
I thoroughly enjoyed the description you wrote. The owners should copy your story since it definitely has me thinking about visiting with my dogs!
Great Job and Congratulations!
Beverly
Thanks Bev. I hope you and your dogs get a chance to go. I know you'll all enjoy it.
Sue
By Bill Pruden
Early this fall, I witnessed something that reminded me anew of just how much things have changed in the worlds of sports and parenting. Having rushed to get my daughter to her soccer practice, I was just settling into my portable chair when I looked up and was startled to see that the girls, a bunch of pony-tailed second graders, were playing among themselves. With no coach, and their parents deep in their own conversations or books, the girls had organized themselves into a kicking, passing, laughing group of soccer players--just as we had done in my day. Of course the coach soon arrived, formal practice began, and my reverie was interrupted, but the memory has lingered, leaving me wondering when it all changed—and whether our children have been cheated as a result.
Now in my mid 50s, I know better than to regale my kids with stories about the times I walked 10 miles--uphill both ways--to get to a field. Indeed, my concern is the exact opposite, for it is the ease with which my friends and I were able to play--and play we did for hours at a time--that I wish for my children. In a time now far, far away, we would start our day with an early announcement of where we were going and a query as to when we needed to be home. Then, armed with a full collection of balls and an equally large determination to pack as much of the game of the season into our day as we possibly could, we set off to join a bunch of friends who had begun their day in the same fashion. It was all about the game and we would play for hours, fueled only by a passion for sport, and the joy and camaraderie that came from sharing it.
Nostalgia is wonderful and hindsight is always 20/20, but when I was young obesity wasn’t a national concern and leadership was something that was exercised not taught. We didn’t wait for our parents to organize our games. We did it. Admittedly there were scraped elbows and knees along the way but we healed faster then. We also learned leadership, organization, and mediation skills along the way. There were a few bruised egos among the kids who were picked last, but more than a little character was revealed when someone determined that he was not satisfied with that fate and worked--tirelessly--to change it. We played to play, not to impress a crowd. My parents came to lots of my youth league and high school games, but they were not there for the countless ones that really mattered, the impromptu, pick-up contests I played simply because I loved the game, loved to compete, and loved the companionship that went with it. Yet make no mistake, I knew my parents supported me, but I also knew that their self-esteem didn’t rise or fall on my performance.
Yes, our society has changed over my lifetime, and there are legitimate explanations why the carefree afternoons I remember have vanished, but crime and predators are not new, and so I wonder if it has to be this way, or whether such concerns are simply used to obscure the fact that we as parents want more control given the tremendous investment that our children represent. We need to remember that in the end it is not about us. The “Glory Days” of which Bruce Springsteen sang are long past, and probably not as glorious as we remember them, but they are ours and our children need the chance to pursue their own. Indeed, all of us need to remember that even in these more restrictive times, our children need real play and the chance to learn and grow from it. After all, in the end they are just games.
Great article Bill! I fondly remember venturing out into my neighborhood for unsupervised play. Every day was a grand adventure. It truly is a shame that today's kids don't get to experience that same sense of freedom and play.
Sue Ivy
By Marjorie de Cuba
Christmas is almost here. Today is December 19th. I had just come out of the hairdresser’s and approached my car. There, huddled on the cold pavement, sat a sobbing man talking to someone on his cell phone. He was the driver of the UPS truck that blocked my way. I knew I could navigate that space, but was more concerned about this man. I approached him and asked,” Are you all right?”
Dumb question, he was obviously having a problem.
“No, no,” he answered. “I’m O.K.”
Respecting his privacy seemed the better part of discretion, so I departed hastily. I headed to WalMart to tend to some last minute business of my own. But when I got home, I thought about the meaning of Christmas this year. So many are stressed out, worried that they might not make it… the endless Christmas deadlines, the frantic travel to see loved ones, separations because of war, global warming, personal challenges, lack of money or energy, uncertainty about the economy that forces penurious gift-giving, the need to fulfill job expectations that want everything done as of yesterday.
The list goes on.
I, myself, just paid a small king’s ransom to UPS recently in an effort to get my gifts to New England in time. I knew they would execute my desires to the letter as they always did. They guaranteed delivery two days before Christmas. No matter that there were seventeen inches of snow on the ground up there. Brown would do it as they always did because they said they would.
Then I thought of the poor stressed out UPS delivery man sobbing on the pavement
He probably had some uptight supervisor pressuring him beyond reason and he had a broken-down truck so he couldn’t meet his deadlines. Personal matters may have been overwhelming him. We all do have lives beyond our jobs!
I wanted to say, “Dear UPS man, don’t cry. I know you are doing the best job you can. Your frustration is because you care so much.”
I thought of my own packages sent the day before. and although I hoped they would get there in time, I knew that delivery was not worth anyone’s tears. Joy comes harder this year. The world is in a state of transition more drastic than it has known for many a year. One could almost say that the old, hard-shelled traditions are being challenged by more humane ones that are having a difficult, obstructed birth. Religions grow more dogmatic because they feel threatened by change. Change is always unsettling and worrisome. But it is inevitable. The positive forces of Light will destroy the negative Dark ones, thereby changing the whole planet. Reason, tolerance of differences, basic compromises will occur; love of our fellowmen regardless of creed or persuasion must replace the stupidity of extreme polarities. In short… we will live to see a more abundant Christmas. The method we use will matter. I believe we all must care about how we achieve our common goals.
Brown will deliver as best it can. Christmas will happen no matter what men choose to call it. No task is worth the UPS man’s tears. He is a fine, conscientious man who cares about his job and what others think of his performance. Most of all, I wish him and the whole frustrated world a MERRY CHRISTMAS this year! God willing, we shall all prevail in peace and more perfect love. Let change and the spirit of Christmas endure. Both are inevitable despite all the stress.
Don’t cry, UPS man. I bless you on your way as I bless all who care this year. Merry Christmas to you!”
By Chris Street
Think quickly—your child bites into a sandwich wrap, swallows a piece of toothpick in the process and then complains, “It feels like it stuck in my throat, mom.” What to do?
(A) Ensure the child drinks lots of water
(B) Help them “cough up” the foreign object
(C) Disregard options “A” and “B.” Closely monitor the child for symptoms of obstructed breathing and be prepared for a possible trip to the ER.
Sometimes the correct choice is “C.”
The good news according to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) is that between 80 and 90 percent of swallowed foreign objects pass through the digestive tract without incident. However, swallowing something sharp like a safety pin, straight pin, nail or even a toothpick can require further medical attention.
Coincidentally, my wife Kathy called from work recently to report she had swallowed a piece of toothpick in a sandwich and “couldn’t decide” if it was still stuck in her throat. Dr. “husband” frankly didn’t know whether she should call her doctor, go to the ER or wait and give the piece of timber a chance to dislodge on its own.
In order to help sharpen my focus, Kathy then tells me of this episode on “House,” a TV medical show, in which a patient’s organs begin shutting down. No one can imagine what ails the man until Dr. House (of course) dryly observes that a sliver of toothpick is stuck in the patient’s throat.
“Tick, tick, tick,” my brain begins to work. I consult Dr. Steven Tope, experienced family doctor at Tremont Medical Center.
“Sharp object swallowed? Advise trip to the ER,” the doctor quickly responds.
At this point Kathy and I agree to err on the side of caution and meet up at the emergency room of WakeMed North Healthplex, corner of Durant Rd. and Falls of Neuse Rd.
Superb medical care follows, much as we had experienced on two previous unscheduled trips to North Raleigh’s still-fresh healthplex. Far from the stereotypical ER, the atmosphere and personnel here are helpful, polite—downright cheery.
The most surprising feature—family members are not set apart from loved ones and left to worry in waiting rooms alongside relatives of other accident victims. Here, nurses and docs actually invite attending family to join the patient in the examination room while waiting to see a doctor.
The case of the broken toothpick ends well for my wife and we are assured that our visit to the ER was a correct choice. In addition to being a choking hazard, we are told that swallowing a sharp object can puncture tissue linings, cause internal bleeding and lead to serious infection later.
As for the episode on “House,” the medical professionals at WakeMed North ER say the “failing organs” case stretches the plausible to paranormal extremes. Still, they say a choking hazard is never something to sneeze at.
Chocking Concerns
I am a mom with two kids—an 8-year-old and a 11-year-old. I spend quite a bit of time in my car shuffling back and forth between activities. Some might think that doing so might get quite boring. However, I find my time in the car quite invigorating. It is one of the few places where my mind is actually unfettered and free to think about … well … things other than work and endless to do lists.
For example, I was returning home from taking the girls to their dance class the other day, sitting at a stop light with nothing to do, when I noticed the woman in the car behind me through my rear-view mirror. It wasn’t her car that drew my eye or her particular activity. Instead, it was something very simple—the way in which she was holding the steering wheel and her body position in relation to her hand positions. She had both hands clasped firmly in the 12:00 position, and she was leaning in close to the wheel, as if physically willing the light to change to green because where she had to be was oh-so-more-important than sitting still at this particular light at this particular moment.
As the light turned green and I continued my drive home, I wondered what our hand and body positions behind the wheel told others about us as we drove around Raleigh throughout the day. So, over the next few days, I did my own (very unscientific and very opinionated) study. Here’s what I think:
So, what does this all mean? Not a thing really. Just a bit a fun to keep my brain occupied as I drive around Raleigh. I spend a heck of a lot of time in my car each week, and I need to find a way to keep myself entertained. As for me, I am a switcher. Just fair warning.
By Jan Brackett
Let’s go back to 1984. Kellee, a young female college graduate is teaching kindergarten at Quisqueya Christian School in Port au Prince Haiti. This being her second year out of school with her teaching degree still fresh accepts the position as kindergarten teacher. During her year there she meets Kirk who is working for Larry Jones ministries. As a mechanical engineering graduate of Oklahoma State University he was there helping with the feeding program. The natural beauty of the tropics was the perfect setting for romance. Unlike most stories this fairy tale was a real life-changing encounter. Kirk and Kellee met in a Bible study and soon discovered they both had similar interests in mission endeavors. They quickly realized that together as a team as a man and wife they could have a greater impact on the world. So, being destined to meet on this foreign field, they fell in love and were married the summer of 1985. Now some 4 kids and 22 years later two of the four children are preparing to make a holiday trek back to Haiti.
Jonathan, a sophomore and construction management major at Appalachian State in Boone, NC and his sister Abby, a junior at UNC in Chapel Hill and photo journalism major are leaving US soil on New Years Eve to spend part of their winter break in Haiti. Both sister and brother spent four days there over the summer and were able to visit Val Children’s Home Care orphanage in Port au Prince. .Being deeply touched by the poverty of the country and the needs at the orphanage they agreed to return as a team. Now, that time has almost arrived!
Abby has received a generous private grant to help fund her part of the trip and Jonathan is depending on his own resources and private gifts to help with his financial burden.
While they are there they hope to bring gifts and supplies that have been collected for the orphanage and will be using their time to help out where needed.
The trip this past year was quite an eye opener. Being no strangers to foreign lands and having traveled extensively in the US and Europe they were culturally shocked at the living conditions and abject poverty in Haiti. The trip during the summer was provided by their parents for the whole family to see where they had met and to also expose them to a culture with great needs. Obviously, the experience touched something deep within and has been the catalyst for driving them back to Haiti.
As a photojournalism major, Abby will be using her photographic skills to capture their experience. Despite the poverty of the country they are a people of warmth and their delightful smiles speak to outsiders of a welcoming, friendly human spirit.
It’s hard to say exactly what impact this venture will have in the lives of these two young people. We can be sure though that the people they meet up with along the way will be touched by the compassion and giving spirit of this brother and sister. Let’s not forget the children at the orphanage who will benefit the most through their caring. This is an excellent example of goodness at work in the lives of our young people.
By Jan Campana
Traditions come in many forms. As a family, traditions are born with the many celebrations life throws our way. Thanksgiving gave us the opportunity to add new traditions and memories for each family member. After twenty years of turkey, football and parades, we decided to try something different. We dedicated this holiday to the joy of our two sons by adding water.
On Thanksgiving Day, after a three-hour drive to Williamsburg, Virginia, we arrived at the Great Wolf Lodge. The indoor waterpark/hotel combination seemed more like a hot day at Disney World than my ideal location for turkey and all the trimmings. But it was and much more.
Included in the hotel price is admission to the waterpark. Moments after we checked into our room, the children were off to discover just how thrilling a Thanksgiving could be. When we joined them, they took us to their new favorite ride, the Howlin’ Tornado. Wanting to seem like a good sport, I allowed myself to be put in a four-person raft, which raced back and forth in a cyclone shaped bowl. Luckily for the youngsters waiting in line, my screams were drowned out by my own kids’ abundant laughter.
Back in the safety of the warm, dry room, I began to microwave the precooked dinner I had prepared at home the day before. Though the children were in summer vacation mode, including flip-flops and wet swimsuits, the Thanksgiving feast was consumed and even enjoyed by all.
We learned a lot about each other during the meal. Talk flows easily when everyone is relaxed after conquering the wave pool. Dreams began to unfold. My oldest wants a black mini cooper with red flames. His younger brother wants a NASCAR so he can be the next Jeff Gordon. Even my husband is thinking of getting a red 1964 Ford Mustang convertible to restore.
My own dreams are a bit more immediate. I hope to have this family togetherness continue. Soon, school and work will be on everyone’s mind. The new found reminder of what we are thankful for is all ready coming in second to the necessities of our everyday lives.
The next holiday is around the bend. This gives us a chance to start another new tradition that may be passed down for generations. Will I be swirling down the Howlin’ Tornado again? The children are all for spending Christmas in a water wonderland. I’m thinking the new tradition is going to be...only one new tradition a year.
This winter season will be flavored with the traditional good stuff. The tree will be decorated with white twinkle lights and the turkey will be full of the cornbread dressing. Memories will be stored and shared. My wish this year is not to sound cowardly in the latest versions of my waterslide adventures. These favored stories have quickly become the fish-that-got-away to all who will listen. Some traditions never fade. They simply take on new forms.
Sue Ivy
By Sue Ivy
Four Paws Kingdom (www.fourpawskingdom.com), the first dog-dedicated campground in the U.S., is fast becoming a home away from home for me and my two dogs. Located in the lush, rolling green foothills of Rutherfordton, NC, about 3 _ hours from Raleigh, it’s truly a dog-lover’s paradise.
As we turn down the main drive, my dogs begin to whine with excitement. When we arrive at the office/camp store, we’re warmly greeted by owners Meik and Birgit Bartoschek. Check-in includes welcome cookies for the dogs.
Along with camping supplies and groceries, the store features unique hand painted silk art, homemade soaps and dog treats and other dog-related gifts, along with a lending library of books and movies.
Many different types of campers can be accommodated. There are pull-through and back-in sites for RV’s, a cool, grassy tent area, three sunny cabins and two rental campers. The cabins and campers include heat and AC, TV/DVD players, microwaves, refrigerators and BBQ grills. Then there’s my dogs’ favorite feature: the gated front porches — the perfect spot to spend a lazy afternoon.
The camp sites are spaced well apart and are designed to allow as much privacy as possible. Most are nicely shaded and several include fire rings. Each site includes full hookups, cable TV, and wireless internet.
Four Paws is surprisingly quiet considering the number of dogs in residence. Even on busy holiday weekends, there is rarely much prolonged barking. Judging by my own two dogs, this is because the furry ones are worn out from all the fun they’ve had.
Our day typically starts on the hiking trail, enjoying the sweet, crisp, morning air and beautiful scenery. I love reading the funny dog quotes that dot the trail and my dogs enjoy reading the p-mail left by the other dogs. In the afternoon we might venture over to the competition agility field to run a few courses, try our hand/paws at obedience in the Rally-O park or head down to the pond for a swim. Both dogs love the water and being able to enjoy it sans leashes. I appreciate the rinse station and hose for cleaning those muddy paws.
Late afternoon usually finds us at one of the off-leash dog parks socializing with other campers and their dogs. It’s great to be in the company of so many fellow dog lovers. I always meet interesting people and have made many wonderful friends.
There are events each weekend that offer something for everyone, including dog games and training, craft and cooking classes, karaoke, bingo, and potlucks. My favorites are the themed catered dinners at the pavilion prepared by former restaurateurs Meik and Brigit. These two are fantastic cooks and talented entertainers!!!
When we’re craving adventure, the dogs and I take a scenic trip a few miles up the road to Lake Lure, Chimney Rock or one of the other local attractions. The area features a host of activities including hiking, boating, swimming, water skiing, fishing, golf, horseback riding, and river rafting. When the dogs have to be left behind at the campground (perish the thought!), a dog-walking service is available.
The energy, care and creativity Meik and Brigit lavish on the property and their guests is evident everywhere. The campground is filled with thoughtful and creative elements — all designed for the enjoyment of dogs and their people. The squeaky-clean bath house features individual bathrooms and a coin op laundry for the humans. For the canine campers, a well appointed doggie bathroom includes two large dog baths complete with “shower massage.” Two outdoor grooming stations are provided for further puppy pampering. There are whimsical, hand-painted touches throughout the property.
My dogs and I have thoroughly enjoyed our many visits to Four Paws Kingdom. I think they would agree that the worst thing about camping there is leaving at the end of our stay.